Dear Popcorn Police,

Dear Popcorn Police,

My entire popcorm family was brutally slaughtered in a microwave. As a popcorn kernel it is horrifying to even think about being put in a microwave. The terrifying noise of popping is godawful. The radiation and heat convection heated up my family so much to the point they just POPPED in front of my eyes. Who would do such a thing? Some of them were in the microwave for so long that they were started burning to a crisp even after the fact they already popped.

This is what happened, thoroughly. Other snacks broke in the house then they kidnapped my popcorn kernal family then they shoved them in the microwave. The microwave started to emit radiation and heat causing the heat to transfer and then they began to pop due to the heat. Please find out who was responsible for this horrible crime, Detective Kernal.

Sincerley, the last one of my kind.